The White Stripes Tour Rumors

Any good music fan has their list of “bands I never got to see live before they broke up.” For some it’s The Beatles (although you can catch Paul on tour this summer), for some it’s the Grateful Dead (although Bob Weir has been keeping himself plenty busy), and for some it’s Fall Out Boy (oh wait – they just got back together). For me, it’s The White Stripes. But, according to an article suspiciously posted on April Fool’s Day, the gruesome twosome will be reuniting… with Tilda Swinton – rather than Meg White – at the drum helm. Say WHAAAAATTTT?

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According to an article by Beat.com, the pair have already recorded a 12″, Evangelical Trout, which will be released on Record Store Day. Of the new drummer selection, Jack White released a statement: “The White Stripes are, and always have been, me and my sister. Now The White Stripes are with my other biological sister, Tilda Swinton.” Biological sister? Well, they are both pretty pale. Swinton, who could only be reached for a statement by way of the glass box she sits in at the MoMA, said: “White’s roots are routed to the crossroads. Crossroads can reveal themselves to be mobius. And here we are, re-routed to the roots of Jack White as he rediscovers his roots.” Sure, Tilda. Whatever that means.

The White Stripes Concert Tickets

God, we can only hope so.

Jack White Concert Tickets

Date
Event
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St. Louis, MO
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Dallas, TX
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Dallas, TX
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Houston, TX
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Houston, TX
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Austin, TX
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New Orleans, LA
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Atlanta, GA
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Atlanta, GA
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Memphis, TN
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Memphis, TN
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New Orleans, LA
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New Orleans, LA
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Boston, MA
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Boston, MA
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Cooperstown, NY
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Washington, DC
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Washington, DC
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Cincinnati, OH
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New York, NY
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New York, NY
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Burgettstown, PA
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Columbus, OH
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Cleveland, OH
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Henrietta, NY
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Lewiston, NY
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Budweiser Stage Toronto, Canada
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Pasadena, CA
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Pasadena, CA
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Chicago, IL
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Chicago, IL
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Minneapolis, MN
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Broomfield, CO
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Magna, UT
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Portland, OR
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Rogers Arena Vancouver, Canada
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Seattle, WA
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San Francisco, CA
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San Francisco, CA
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Bakersfield, CA
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Santa Barbara, CA
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San Diego, CA
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Phoenix, AZ
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Las Vegas, NV
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Las Vegas, NV
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Franklin, TN
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Washington, DC
Coming soon!

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