So many items, so little space. It was tough to do, but I managed to not let Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez take up all five spots. You don’t know how hard that was.

Runner Ups: Jets fan punching Pats fan after game; Brett Favre sending penis pics to Jets’ employees (sorry, no picture); Rex Ryan’s foot fetish video (sorry, no video – would you really want one?); U.S. Senator takes time to hate on Jets in speech; Jets pick…well, the majority of the Jets draft history, really.

#5. Dan Marino Fake Spike:

Believe me, this was a tough call. Initially, I had Rex Ryan’s tattoo of his wife with the Sanchez jersey on as my number five. But then I thought about it, and though both the fake spike and the tattoo are humiliating and most certainly shameful, the fake spike resulted in a loss. To me – and I’d guess to Jets fans – the loss on top of the shame makes it worse. See, the Dolphins were in scoring position, but with time for only one play, it makes sense that Marino and co. would just go for the field goal and take it to over time. Alas, Jets fans: Marino faked the spike and threw a TD that caught your defense completely unaware. Ouch. Ding, ding, ding, we have our winner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZfzr9tB4oo

#4. Joe Namath tries to kiss sideline reporter:

Poor Suzy Kolber. She’s the sideline reporter Namath first leans toward, then tells, “I wanna kiss you.” And this wasn’t just some report about an alleged incident – it happened on live TV. To review, this is the best Jets quarterback of all time, a Hall of Famer, and he’s scummy enough to hit on the sideline reporter while they’re on TV, summing up the pleasant interview by saying, “I couldn’t care less about the [Jets] struggling.” Class, class, class, all the way. Maybe this should be higher.

#3. Fireman Ed quits:

Um, there’s just so much terrible here. One of those moments that’s not just shameful for Jets fans, but for all of humanity. In one corner, you have Fireman Ed, the Jets unofficial mascot who has led the cheers of J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS since 1986. In the other corner, you have good ol’ 2012 Jets fans, who berate Fireman Ed until he quits. It’s really sort of unbelievable, isn’t it? It’s like fans throwing snowballs at Santa Claus. Oh wait, that’s a thing.

#2. Jets’ strength and conditioning coach trips player:

This one’s pretty self-explanatory, right? Like, I don’t need to go into detail about what happened. It was a punt, and a Dolphins player running down the sideline was tripped by the Jets’ strength and conditioning coach. That’s pretty much it. Aside from being perhaps the most unsportsmanlike incident I can remember, it’s also cheating. So, with one play – one extended knee – the Jets were simultaneously labeled bad sports and cheaters. In the words of Ron Burgundy, “I’m not even mad. That’s amazing!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnPnUHwD8Qw

#1. The Butt Fumble:

Was there any doubt? Forty Fridays in a row on ESPN’s Not Top Ten plays of the week. They had to retire it from the Not Top Ten because nothing could beat it, nothing was worse. I can’t think of a play that’s been more devastating to a team’s reputation. After The Butt Fumble (a period also known as A.T.B.F. in history), could anyone, even the most diehard Sanchez supporter, really take him seriously as a starter? I want to know. Sanchez ran into his own player’s butt, fumbled, and had it returned by the Patriots (the Jets most hated rival these days) for a touchdown. Kids, this is how not to play quarterback. Scratch that – this is how not to do life. I know it’s football, but really it’s a life lesson: don’t pull a Sanchez. Side note: there were so so so many videos to choose from for this one, but I decided on the Sports Science video because it breaks down, little by little, how effing terrible Sanchez really is (during the play).